Guest Blog Week Day 5....

Sigh...

I knew today was coming. With the four straight days of "Bobby Love-Fest" I knew there was bound to be someone out there who didn't really like me all that much. I just didn't think they would come from down the hall.

"What’s up Internet,

So due to conflicts beyond my brother’s control, I have hijacked his blog. I read this thing every once in a while and I see a whole bunch of inaccuracies all over the place. So I have decided to correct a lot of the misinformation. First of all, lets start with the name, PK. I don’t care what William Shakespeare says, a rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but if it’s called a Sweatifoot, I doubt there would be many people running to shove their noses into the petals. So I would like to first clarify, my name is not PK it is BAMFK. Now I know that’s a lot to write, and my brother is lazy and stubborn, so it’ll be like pulling alligator teeth getting him to change…so I tolerate the PK designation.

Second thing I’d like to say is that he’s not as smart as he thinks he is, and just because he’s made a living riding on my coattails he thinks he’s super successful. It’s true that he learned a lot of things while I was doing them, but most of the stuff he learned was more life preservation versus intellectual fortitude. The whole reason he learned to tie his sue was because he was nearly beaten to death in a hospital bathroom. Apparently, he forgot that one. Our history is littered with stories of my brother getting in trouble for not doing things. But yet he tells you all that he knows all this stuff because he’s super smart. WRONG!!! He knows this stuff because if he didn’t learn it, he would not be alive today. Do you all have any idea it is dealing with someone who believes they’re smarter than they are? Seriously, all the stuff I have to put up with. And he makes it seem like I’m the difficult one. I believe he described himself as my nemesis in a past blog. If I would have known that he felt this way, I would have destroyed him years ago, with extreme prejudice, and demonstrated to all new comers my authority and dominance in the household.

Despite all the trouble he’s caused me, he’s pretty hard to deal with. There’s always that one time where he did me a solid, and so now I’m indebted to him forever. Somehow he always forgets the things that I’ve done for him. I’m pretty sure the ratio is 13-5 in my favor, and that’s counting a couple of the situations he helped me out with twice. An example of how much of a pain in the @$$ he is, he got this job about 8 years ago, when I was still in college. Everyday he would call me at lunch and say how awesome his job was. EVERY DAY!!! What kind of a jerk move is this? The kind that my brother pulls. That lasted everyday for about two weeks until I told him about the craziness that happened one night at the bar I was working at in Los Angeles.

When he’s not doing this stuff, he’s still intolerable. He’ll just start doing crazy dances around the house. He’ll make stupid faces in your face. He’ll do things just to get beat up. He’ll make up a celebration for everything, it kinda reminds me of the defensive backs who break up a play in football and immediately doing their choreography for that new hit musical entitled, “Doing My Job.”

So I could go on and on about the things my brother does that drives me crazy, but I won’t because you all would hate him and not read his blog again. This would actually be bad for me because it would greatly increase the time he spends bothering me, and that would be bad for me. But also, he is my best friend, even if he does have plans to destroy me. But as they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer…just in case another enemy tries to clip you, you will always have someone to throw into the line of danger and take that bullet. In this case I’ve done both.

BAMFK, formerly known as PK"

So to recap what you just read. BLAH BLAH BLAH I love Bobby... BLAH BLAH BLAH I'm jealous of the awesome job he had... BLAH BLAH BLAH Bobby is way funnier and a better dancer than I am... BLAH BLAH BLAH Bobby is my best friend.

Umm... thanks P.K. Too bad you don't get to name yourself, as Bobby Always Makes Fun of Kenny, BAMFK is more suited for me. (See what I did there P.K.? I just stole your nickname!) One guest blog left, be sure to come back for the conclusion of Guest Blog Week! So until tomorrow... This is the "Real BAMFK" signing off.