Skin Tight is Not Alright

Hello... I had an insightful and thought provoking post I was working on. It was deep and poignant. It had stuff to make you laugh and stuff to make you cry. It was going to take you far off places, but also make you think. But in typical Bobby style, I am bumping it to bring you this one. 

I was talking to my boy J-Smalls today, and we got onto the subject of fashion, and in particular men's fashion. He asked me what I thought about everybody running around wearing Ed Hardy clothing. I told him that I hated it, but didn't really know why. So for the next few hours I thought about it. And if you have got time, I'd like to list them for you, right here and right now.

First off, let me just say I get it. I understand the whole vintage tattoo thing. It's cool and retro and all that. And some of the vintage tattoo art is amazing to look at. But someone please tell me what is retro about a pink v-neck t shirt? It just makes me laugh to see all these buff dudes in the clubs with hearts and stars all over their skin tight shirts. Or to be out at the mall and have a guy wearing a pink track jacket or hoodie with sequins on it. 

And to make matters worse, I was looking at their website and they have a celebrity link. If you click on it, you can see all of the famous people who have been photographed wearing their clothes. Let me share with you a few of the names on the list.... Ryan Seacrest, Coolio, Bobby Brown, Menudo, and Michael Jackson. Have you ever seen such a random group in your life?I know I haven't. I know had this stuff been around in the 50's, Frank Sinatra wouldn't be rocking the Ed Hardy glittery muscle tee. He would have gotten the real tattoo. Now don't get all huffy and say I'm only picking lame celebrities. I'm well aware that there are real celebrities who wear this stuff... But with those guys on the list, count me out. 

And I'm not mad at the people behind the Ed Hardy clothing line. They are a shining example of capitalism. I mean it takes real skill to sell someone an outfit that looks like it has been bedazzled by a 13 year old. I bet I know how that initial meeting went. Everyone got together and said, "Hey let's get a bunch of Hanes t shirts, get pictures of old tattoos, glue some glitter and sequins on... and then sell them for 100 bucks!" And then when they needed samples, they locked a bunch of grade school girls in a room with shirts, crayons, and boxes of lucky charms. You may laugh... but don't be surprised if you see a shirt with pink hearts or orange stars on it in the near future. Why? Because it's too brilliant. Convincing a bunch of adult men to wear the clothing equivalent of a Lisa Frank binder. I wish I had thought of it. 

I guess you know what really bugs me about it? Is you can't really tell the women's clothing from the men's. True story... I saw two people walking through the mall. He was about six feet tall and 200 lbs. while she was five foot three and considerably less heavy.  They had on the exact same shirt and hat! Now on certain occasions, I'm all for coordinating the clothes to compliment the lady friend... But wearing the exact same fit? That's in the top ten on the list of things to not do if you are a guy. I was willing to wager that their shirts were the same size as well, but the group of people I was with wouldn't take me up on that bet. 

Here's what it is... I'm old school. I like white t shirts and blue jeans, and I prefer my clothing to be on the baggy side. But on top of that I'm a concerned citizen, speaking out on a topic he believes in. As a card carrying member of the League of Men I call upon my fellow brothers in arms to speak out. I feel that this needs to stop before it gets really out of hand. If we don't make a stand now, guys in the future will be wearing halter tops with unicorns and rainbows on them. We will have forgotten all that made us men. The subtle nuances of the infield fly rule will be lost, so will the simple satisfaction of fixing things or changing a tire. What man would want to live in a world like that? I for one sure don't. 

Mama's Boy

So this is a few days late, but I wanted to write it anyways. And it's kind of hard to say publicly but with your help, I'm gonna try. Hello My name is Bobby... I love my mom, and I am a "Mama's Boy".  

Frankly, I don't know why we really only appreciate our moms one day a year. After all they have done for us, shouldn't our moms be celebrated all the time? I can't think of one person who has been more influential in my life than my mom. She taught me how to play sports, the difference between right and wrong, and how to stand up for what I believe in. She also taught me how to fight. But the most important thing she has ever taught me, is that no matter what, loving myself and my family are the two most important things I could ever do. 

My mom is three layers of awesome, with a spit-fire center, and wrapped with a wise coating. She calls me dude, still plays co-ed softball, and tries to ambush me constantly. See... in our house we have a game where you could get jumped walking around the corner. I originally started it, lying in wait and when people come around the corner I would strike like the lethal assassin that I am. Now my whole family plays, but no one is as good as my mom. She's laid me out several times, and all I can do is laugh because she got me. Me and my mom are buddies, so it upsets me that there are no activities that are strictly mother/son things. But we in a roundabout way have created our own. We play softball together, and we both coach basketball over at Valley Christian.

So yeah... I could go on for days, but I won't because then you would just stop reading. But before I go, I have two pieces of advice. The first piece is love and appreciate your moms everyday. And if you get a chance... just wait around the corner and ambush someone, its really fun. So Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. Normally I would make a joke right here about having a gift for all the single moms and listing my phone number, but I'm trying to keep it classy and I don't think the girlfriend would find it all that funny. So goodbye to you now.

Past & Present

I was talking to a friend of mine today, who kindly reminded me that I was almost 30.  We were joking around, but it got me to thinking. Nothing too crazy, but just thinking about where I am at in my life and things like that. You know, taking stock and all that good stuff. But my voyage into the past raised some interesting questions.

You know how every kid growing up has a dream job? They run around dressed up like the cowboy or fireman that they hope to someday become, emulating the tasks of their desired future profession. Lord knows, I've been busted by many a 5 year old police officer for Unnecessary Naptimes. And not to mention the countless check-ups by the future doctors of America.

But me? I didn't have anything like that. I never had a dream job or goal when I was younger. I just kinda drifted along, rolling along with whatever life has brought my way. I never tried hard in school, because I never really had a goal. Whenever anybody asked me about the future my standard reply would be a simple "I don't know." Over time, that answer slowly morphed into, "Being rich." or "Being awesome." 

Even to this day I still have no dream job. No calling.... no goal.... Nothing that hits me so hard and so true that I could spend the next 20 years doing that one thing and feel like my life has not been a total waste. I am good at many things,  so much so that I would venture to say that I've got skills. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wonder what my life what would have been like had I had a dream. Or what my life would had been like had I tried harder. Would I be more successful? Definitely. Would I be happier? Possibly. But I realized that by the grace o God, I am exactly where I need to be. And I am loving every minute of it.