So has come the second part of our birthday blowout. Today I want to talk about my bother P.K., who had his birthday yesterday. This post is a little late, but we were too busy partying hard for me to find time to fit this in.
I imagine my brother looked at me on the date of my birth the same way I looked at my sister on the day of hers. But where her initial cries were ones that foretold doom and destruction, mine were to inform him that he was my arch-nemesis, I and I would not rest until he was utterly defeated.
So that was my plan. To be better than him at everything. He learned to read at 5, I learned to read at 3. He played sports with his friends, I tagged along. He joined band, I learned to play a musical instrument as well. Everywhere he went, I was two steps behind, always trying my best to be better than P.K. And what started out as an intense, albeit one sided rivalry has become an intense friendship.
At both his best and his worst I have stood beside him, a Dr. Watson to his Sherlock Holmes. right or wrong I have fought with him, cried with him, and lived some of the greatest moments of my life all while standing next to my brother. I have followed him everywhere, and would follow him into the depths of hell if he asks. but if he knows me at all, he will know that he won't have to.
So happy birthday P.K.! To the best enemy a guy could ever have, know that I am proud to have stood by you. And know that I look forward to the day when you can stand by me.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Birthday Blowout Weekend Part 1
Today is another one of those birthday blogs... The first of two this weekend. I got one today and another tomorrow. So please bear with me as I send out sappy words of nonsense for the next few days. I promise to be back to normal complaining self by Monday.
Today I wanna talk about the second of my two sisters. But I know what you're thinking... "Bobby, you only have one sister right?" To that I say not true. In being a basketball coach and teacher, my mom has "adopted" kids for no reason. So its no surprise to come home from work or wake up on a Saturday and see kids hanging out at the house. But very few of them have worked their way in to my hearts as this particular one did.
I met her 12 years ago. She was significantly smaller then. She had shoulder length hair, band aids on her knees, and a chocolate pudding stain on her shirt. She was a certified tomboy, swearing up and down that she hated dresses, and all things pink and purple. She was one of the first people to ever receive a nickname from me. She became my favorite second grader ever, despite constant whining. And in the 4th grade she cemented her place in my heart for all time when she wanted to invite me to be her guest at "invite your dad day" at school.(Don't know if she remembers this, but I do.) I watched her play her first basketball game, greeted her as family on Senior Night(That's for graduating athletes playing their last home game) and hugged her as her basketball career came to an end. And even though they weren't the richest people, she and her mom always came with a birthday or christmas gift.
They haven't all been good times though. We have fought a lot. Sometimes we have used words, and sometimes we have used fists. I guess I should clear up that we don't have angry fist fights, just loving ones. She may not always agree, but she always listens. And she knows that no matter what, I love her and am always there for her.
So happy 18th birthday Brenna Rae, aka Brenna the Fish, Nemo, Fishsticks, Rae Bear, Brensisco, and Sis. You are a great person, a kind soul, and the best partner a guy could ever hope for in team Skip Bo (Team Bee Two One is unstoppable... Get at us if you think you can.) And even though you are legally an adult now, you will always be my kid sister.
Today I wanna talk about the second of my two sisters. But I know what you're thinking... "Bobby, you only have one sister right?" To that I say not true. In being a basketball coach and teacher, my mom has "adopted" kids for no reason. So its no surprise to come home from work or wake up on a Saturday and see kids hanging out at the house. But very few of them have worked their way in to my hearts as this particular one did.
I met her 12 years ago. She was significantly smaller then. She had shoulder length hair, band aids on her knees, and a chocolate pudding stain on her shirt. She was a certified tomboy, swearing up and down that she hated dresses, and all things pink and purple. She was one of the first people to ever receive a nickname from me. She became my favorite second grader ever, despite constant whining. And in the 4th grade she cemented her place in my heart for all time when she wanted to invite me to be her guest at "invite your dad day" at school.(Don't know if she remembers this, but I do.) I watched her play her first basketball game, greeted her as family on Senior Night(That's for graduating athletes playing their last home game) and hugged her as her basketball career came to an end. And even though they weren't the richest people, she and her mom always came with a birthday or christmas gift.
They haven't all been good times though. We have fought a lot. Sometimes we have used words, and sometimes we have used fists. I guess I should clear up that we don't have angry fist fights, just loving ones. She may not always agree, but she always listens. And she knows that no matter what, I love her and am always there for her.
So happy 18th birthday Brenna Rae, aka Brenna the Fish, Nemo, Fishsticks, Rae Bear, Brensisco, and Sis. You are a great person, a kind soul, and the best partner a guy could ever hope for in team Skip Bo (Team Bee Two One is unstoppable... Get at us if you think you can.) And even though you are legally an adult now, you will always be my kid sister.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Stevie Wonder Was Right, There Really Ain't No Use....
Emergency Man Meeting! I had to call this one, because I just was so under appreciated as both a man and a boyfriend I had to share my profound realization. I have concluded that there is no way to please women. The story I am about to tell you is true. But before I go into it, here's some back story. The Girlfriend has a table in her class that the two of her sumo wrestler students broke. So for a day and a half she talked about how sad she was that she had no table.
Now that you have been caught up, story time starts now. But to get the full scope of the epicness that was last night, I'm bringing it to you Jack Bauer style.
7:45PM- I get a call from The Girlfriend telling me that if she doesn't get a new ikea table before 9:15, she's going to kill my goldfish. There is only one ikea in the west bay and it is in Palo Alto and closes at 9:00PM. I don't actually own a goldfish, but my dad once told me it's not a good idea to argue with women or crazy people. So I agree because I don't want harm to come to Goldie...
After leaving my office building, I run to my car which I seem to have conveniently parked at the summit of a hill with the elevation of Half Dome. Needless to say, my calves are on fire.
8:00PM- I am in the car and flying down the 101 freeway. Apparently at this time every Tuesday night they hold a competition to see who can drive the 18 wheelers the slowest. Somehow I feel this does not bode well for Goldie. Doom was just about setting in, when the 18 wheeler in the center lane dies of sheer boredom, and bows out, leaving me with a clear lane. I stepped on the gas, and roared down the highway.
8:12PM- In San Mateo I see a van that is overturned in a ditch. I pul out my phone to call 911, but the battery is dead. I didn't want to stop, as any delay could spell doom for my precious Goldie. But how do you not help? I pull up, I see that they are a bunch of orphans from Oregon on their way to Disneyland. The door is stuck and they can't get out. So I grabbed a softball bat from the trunk and broke out a window. Then the van catches on fire. So now I have flaming van full of orphans to save.... Did I mention that they were also battling some serious illness? Because they were.
8:21PM- Managed to pull all everyone out of the van. You probably didn't even hear this took place because you were all watching Glee...
8:35PM- I make it to ikea.... Oh how I hate this place. Question for ikea... Why do you sell some things online, but not others? I would never have to set foot inside your wretched doors again if you would just put all your junk on sale on the internet. And you nordic guys may know how to design furniture, but your store layout and design skills are highly suspect. Despite the one way flow, everybody always seems to get lost. By the way, what is it about this place that makes people impossible to find? I saw a 5 year old hiding in a large basket of face shaped pillows while his mom stood directly in front of him, and called for him while looking in his direction for nearly 10 minutes. Total madness... GPS your kids people.
8:37PM- In the door and wandering around aimlessly. Finally found what I'm looking for after taking several "shortcuts." I'm pretty sure one of the short cuts took me back out to my car.
8:39PM- Grabbed my basket thing from downstairs. Note to ikea... don't make every wheel on the cart turn independently. Unless you like people looking like great danes on freshly waxed floors. Where was I? Oh yeah cart. Got it, pushing towards the item I want, when I'm cut off by somebody's grandma. She's gunning for the table. The last table. My table... So using my superior speed I pull neck and neck with her, and I then proceed to bump her. She got loose and ended up crashing into a baby hamper. Looking back, I'm not proud of what I did, but nothing is off limits when it comes to Goldie. I pick up the table and put it into my cart.
This brings me to something else. Did you know ikea has secret police? No? Well they do. They also have rules that are secret like 95% of In n Out's menu. You break these rules, and they come rappelling from the ceiling like Colin Farrell and L.L. Cool J. And much to my surprise, they don't take kindly to you sideswiping old ladies no matter how bad they deserve it. So now I'm running from the ikea police and have no idea how to get out.
8:45PM- In my attempt to evade ikea pd, somehow I have ended up back upstairs and am now hiding from them in a giant basket of face shaped pillows... Don't ask.
8:57PM- I make it to the check out line. The good news is ikea pd's jurisdiction ends and the check out lines. But the bad news is their lines are really long. For some reason, the store is a ghost town, but the lines to leave look like the Jews leaving Egypt. I'm pretty sure I saw a couple of goats.
9:25PM- I leave ikea.... Told you the line was long.
9:13PM- No this is not a typo. I have traveled back in time, to arrive at The Girlfriend's house with minutes to spare. I'm so thankful I paid extra for that flux capacitor thing. The only problem is I can only use it once. I sure hope I used it wisely. I grabbed all the parts to the table out of the car and run to her door.
9:14:59PM- I knock on the door. I'm standing there breathless but happy because I know that my Goldie is going to survive. The door opens and standing there is The Girlfriend. She takes one look at the green table I'm holding and says, "You know my table is blue right?"
Now that you have been caught up, story time starts now. But to get the full scope of the epicness that was last night, I'm bringing it to you Jack Bauer style.
7:45PM- I get a call from The Girlfriend telling me that if she doesn't get a new ikea table before 9:15, she's going to kill my goldfish. There is only one ikea in the west bay and it is in Palo Alto and closes at 9:00PM. I don't actually own a goldfish, but my dad once told me it's not a good idea to argue with women or crazy people. So I agree because I don't want harm to come to Goldie...
After leaving my office building, I run to my car which I seem to have conveniently parked at the summit of a hill with the elevation of Half Dome. Needless to say, my calves are on fire.
8:00PM- I am in the car and flying down the 101 freeway. Apparently at this time every Tuesday night they hold a competition to see who can drive the 18 wheelers the slowest. Somehow I feel this does not bode well for Goldie. Doom was just about setting in, when the 18 wheeler in the center lane dies of sheer boredom, and bows out, leaving me with a clear lane. I stepped on the gas, and roared down the highway.
8:12PM- In San Mateo I see a van that is overturned in a ditch. I pul out my phone to call 911, but the battery is dead. I didn't want to stop, as any delay could spell doom for my precious Goldie. But how do you not help? I pull up, I see that they are a bunch of orphans from Oregon on their way to Disneyland. The door is stuck and they can't get out. So I grabbed a softball bat from the trunk and broke out a window. Then the van catches on fire. So now I have flaming van full of orphans to save.... Did I mention that they were also battling some serious illness? Because they were.
8:21PM- Managed to pull all everyone out of the van. You probably didn't even hear this took place because you were all watching Glee...
8:35PM- I make it to ikea.... Oh how I hate this place. Question for ikea... Why do you sell some things online, but not others? I would never have to set foot inside your wretched doors again if you would just put all your junk on sale on the internet. And you nordic guys may know how to design furniture, but your store layout and design skills are highly suspect. Despite the one way flow, everybody always seems to get lost. By the way, what is it about this place that makes people impossible to find? I saw a 5 year old hiding in a large basket of face shaped pillows while his mom stood directly in front of him, and called for him while looking in his direction for nearly 10 minutes. Total madness... GPS your kids people.
8:37PM- In the door and wandering around aimlessly. Finally found what I'm looking for after taking several "shortcuts." I'm pretty sure one of the short cuts took me back out to my car.
8:39PM- Grabbed my basket thing from downstairs. Note to ikea... don't make every wheel on the cart turn independently. Unless you like people looking like great danes on freshly waxed floors. Where was I? Oh yeah cart. Got it, pushing towards the item I want, when I'm cut off by somebody's grandma. She's gunning for the table. The last table. My table... So using my superior speed I pull neck and neck with her, and I then proceed to bump her. She got loose and ended up crashing into a baby hamper. Looking back, I'm not proud of what I did, but nothing is off limits when it comes to Goldie. I pick up the table and put it into my cart.
This brings me to something else. Did you know ikea has secret police? No? Well they do. They also have rules that are secret like 95% of In n Out's menu. You break these rules, and they come rappelling from the ceiling like Colin Farrell and L.L. Cool J. And much to my surprise, they don't take kindly to you sideswiping old ladies no matter how bad they deserve it. So now I'm running from the ikea police and have no idea how to get out.
8:45PM- In my attempt to evade ikea pd, somehow I have ended up back upstairs and am now hiding from them in a giant basket of face shaped pillows... Don't ask.
8:57PM- I make it to the check out line. The good news is ikea pd's jurisdiction ends and the check out lines. But the bad news is their lines are really long. For some reason, the store is a ghost town, but the lines to leave look like the Jews leaving Egypt. I'm pretty sure I saw a couple of goats.
9:25PM- I leave ikea.... Told you the line was long.
9:13PM- No this is not a typo. I have traveled back in time, to arrive at The Girlfriend's house with minutes to spare. I'm so thankful I paid extra for that flux capacitor thing. The only problem is I can only use it once. I sure hope I used it wisely. I grabbed all the parts to the table out of the car and run to her door.
9:14:59PM- I knock on the door. I'm standing there breathless but happy because I know that my Goldie is going to survive. The door opens and standing there is The Girlfriend. She takes one look at the green table I'm holding and says, "You know my table is blue right?"
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
No Shenanigans
Happy Wednesday to you all! I have some sad news. I am suspending Man Meeting Mondays for a little while as I sort out my work schedule. Sorry to the three women who I know will be saddened by this revelation. I will however continue to update my blog whenever I have something to complain abo- err say. So with that, on to my topic today.
So The Girlfriend watches a lot of How I Met Your Mother.I call it "Your Mother" for obvious potential comedic situations. Go ahead and add the phrase "Your Mother" to any sentence and it instantly becomes better... its like the bacon of the grammar world. Now I don't really watch the show as religiously as she does, but I guess on there are a group of friends living and loving in NYC. The Girlfriend and I were watching them prank around on Your Mother.(See? Instantly better.) The Girlfriend turned to me and said, "I want friends like that! I want friends to get involved in shenanigans with!" (She actually said shenanigans... who says that anymore?)
So we discussed it and we decided to get her started in "shenanigans". So On April Fools Day we decided to list our relationship status on facebook as single. My friends instantly recognized it for what it was, and my cousin even went as far as to call me an unsavory name... (Thanks Michelle.) Her friends on the other hand bombarded her with condolences for most of the day. She ended up feeling terrible about it. So that one stunt was both the beginning and the end of her time as a prankster.
The writers on Your Mother are messing up. I hope they figure it out before they cause another girl to think "shenanigans" are cool. But don't think I'm becoming a softie. I'm doing this out of concern so other boyfriends all over don't have to listen to their girlfriend's bout with guilt like I did.
So The Girlfriend watches a lot of How I Met Your Mother.I call it "Your Mother" for obvious potential comedic situations. Go ahead and add the phrase "Your Mother" to any sentence and it instantly becomes better... its like the bacon of the grammar world. Now I don't really watch the show as religiously as she does, but I guess on there are a group of friends living and loving in NYC. The Girlfriend and I were watching them prank around on Your Mother.(See? Instantly better.) The Girlfriend turned to me and said, "I want friends like that! I want friends to get involved in shenanigans with!" (She actually said shenanigans... who says that anymore?)
So we discussed it and we decided to get her started in "shenanigans". So On April Fools Day we decided to list our relationship status on facebook as single. My friends instantly recognized it for what it was, and my cousin even went as far as to call me an unsavory name... (Thanks Michelle.) Her friends on the other hand bombarded her with condolences for most of the day. She ended up feeling terrible about it. So that one stunt was both the beginning and the end of her time as a prankster.
The writers on Your Mother are messing up. I hope they figure it out before they cause another girl to think "shenanigans" are cool. But don't think I'm becoming a softie. I'm doing this out of concern so other boyfriends all over don't have to listen to their girlfriend's bout with guilt like I did.
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