Standing Ten Count Knock Out.

For some reason over the last few weeks and for know apparent reason, I have been compiling a list. 

Now listen before you judge me. It all started with one of those typical questions guys ask when they are bored. I'm sitting in the den with P.K. when he asks, "If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be and why?" I was suddenly forced to stop everything so that my brain could fully process the question. "Geez, I don't know..." I replied. "There are so many people I would punch... Why does it have to be just one?"

So then it was expanded to a top ten. But then here's where it gets a little dicey. I want to punch every explorer who "discovered" the new world, but I can't add them because they take up too many slots. I originally asked P.K. if I could lump them into one super person like Voltron but he said no, so they are all out. So here is my list as of right now. 

1. Adolf Hitler- I don't think much really needs to be said here. But just know that I would cold clock this dude if given the chance. I dislike him so much that I punch pictures of him in history books.

2. The guy who violates movie rule #1- Sorry... but like I said earlier, I didn't pay $10.25 to have you ruin Star Trek because you and your girlfriend are having relationship issues. Take it outside jerk.

3. Kevin Costner- Mainly because The Postman is on tv right now. Name me three good Kevin Costner movies. I'll even give you the first two: The Untouchables, and Field of Dreams. Now give me number three... Can't do it, because it doesn't exist. But yet he keeps on making movies.

4. Crappy Small Talk Guy- You know the type. That guy who overstates the obvious, or tries to point out some imaginary shortcoming all in order to start a conversation. Asking me in 100 degree weather if it is hot enough for me, or telling me that I've missed a spot after spending all afternoon washing my windows is not clever. In fact it may get you serious bodily harm. 

5. Lady Gaga's parents- Hop in the delorean, and head for the New York/New Jersey area. Just bust in right before procreation, show them her poker face video, and then punch them both square in the nose for ruining music.

6. George Lucas- Nerds everywhere would too. I'm willing to bet that a vast majority of us would pay money to sock that dude square in the mouth. But depending on how much they charged, he might end up making more money, so nevermind. Just know that we don't forgive you for episodes 1-3 or the remastered 4-6.

7. Bill O'Reilly/Rush Limbaugh- I'm not too picky about this one. Like they both need a good punching, but I hate them both equally, and if presented with the choice, my answer would just simply be "yes please."

8. Justin Timberlake/Justin Bieber- They are both named Justin. They both sing terrible songs. Yet they will both be richer, and date hotter women than I ever will. So for that, I will rain down punches on them.

9. Hayden Christiansen- Kinda falls in line with George Lucas, but this dude probably should be higher. I'm not saying he's on Hitler's level, but he is close. Christiansen took one of fiction's all time bad guys and played him with may more emo than evil. Nice to know one of the greatest villains of all time turned to the dark side over some teen angst.

10. Tom Cruise- You all saw the Oprah show clip. You all have seen him go crazy about scientology. You have all seen him get sanctimonious all over the news. You also have heard about Knight & Day. I hope you didn't see it though, because that movie looked terrible.