Everything Old is New Again...

It's 1:30 am and I am supposed to be asleep because I have to get up in two hours. Why am I awake, and why am I getting up at 3am you ask? Can't tell you, it's a a secret.... Just know it is a big day though. But anyone who knows me and all my family and I have gone through these past few years could tell you, maybe if you ask them nicely enough.

In the past 6 years of dating, the girlfriend has talked to me about seasons. Not winter and summer, but phases of your life that cover a significant period of time. A season always seems to end when you are transitioning into something new and completely different, with an example being graduating from college and getting your first real job, or transitioning from single life to being married. This last year for me has been the Season Of Sucktitude.

My computer and a lot of you may realize that sucktitude is not actually a word, but I don't care. A better use of your energy would be asking why my year has been so sucky. It happened in two stages, Firstly, my family and I have gone through a really trying time, where to put it cryptically, we weren't operating at full capacity. That blow hit us all like an uppercut from Mike Tyson, and while we were still reeling, punch drunk from being clobbered by that, I lost my job. Boom... Knockout... Thanks for playing.

I tried to put on a brave front and remain stoic, steadfast, and upright while tsunami sized waves of anger, doubt, and uselessness just battered me. I was, and still am to some extent, hurting from all that has happened. But with no real time to process it, I have not had time to heal. So while I seem fine, I know that there are parts of me that are broken. And it has been real hard to feel like anything but a failure.

I'm hoping that at 3:30 all that will begin to change. That my S.O.S. will be heard and I can turn the corner. The Williams clan will be able to form Voltron and slay Robeasts once again. (80's cartoon reference... Google it.) I will find a new job, one that I truly love and pays me crazy loot... And more importantly, I can get back to being the old me again. Maybe not completely the old me, but a much more refined, and stronger me... One who is ready to take on the next season in his life.


P.S.: For the record, I am definitely the yellow lion.