Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I'm like Michael Bay, except I do weddings (and I don't suck)

If I had my way, my wedding would have been WAY different. Pretty sure it would have gone down as the greatest wedding of all time. Doubt me? Let me walk you through it...

If I had my way, it would have been on an abandoned airfield. The seats would have been facing a picturesque waterfront background. My groomsmen would show up riding all black motorcycles. They would park them off to the side. Moments later a plane would fly over, causing everyone seated to look up. There they would see me parachuting towards the ceremony. I land, get rid of the arachute and take my place next to the pastor and my groomsmen. The bridesmaids..who cares? All you need to know is that they show up. Now its time for the bride.

This is where it gets good. Off in the distance you hear what sounds like car engines and gunfire. Turning in your chair, you would have been witness to a '67 mustang being pursued by 3 black sedans. The mustang is swerving to avoid gunfire and rocket launches. Through Bond like gadgetry, the mustang leaves an oil slick, causing the sedans to flip and explode. Then the mustang power slides, and out of the car steps Wifey rocking the white leather catsuit. We stand at the altar and when the pastor says the part about speaking now or forever holding your peace, our villain stands up. He's sitting in the crowd! And he's not alone... he brought ninjas. So now the bridal party is fighting bad guys. After they are defeated, the pastor pronounces us husband and wife, wifey and I kiss, and then explosions.

Tell me that wouldn't be the best wedding ever! It wouldd have put that wedding where people were dancing to Chris Brown to shame. I almost had it too, but Wifey couldn't figure out what flower package worked best. But oh what could've been...

1 comment:

  1. I think you need a Nacho cheese fountain in your story.