W.W.H.S.

That stands for What Would Horatio Say? As in Horatio Caine from CSI Miami. For anyone who has watched the show, Horatio Caine(played by David Caruso) delivers cheesy one liners before the opening credits. For a while PK, Showbiz, and I were fascinated with how cheesy his one liners were. So one night we created a game based on his infamous one liners.

The game we play has two versions. Version one involves you hearing his cheesy one liner and then trying to out do him. Version two (my favorite), involves seeing the scene as Horatio sees it, and then seeing who comes the closest to his line.

Now the writers for this show were genius. They created a fool proof formula... they had to. They were committed to Caruso, but then realized after watching his body of work, that dude couldn't act. So during a late night emergency meeting they came up with what I like to call the Caine Corollary, a fool proof way to make Caruso look like he has talent. It goes like this... You take a dead body + its surroundings or occupation = opening show one liner. So using this formula I’m going to create Horatio Caine one liners just for you. I'm adding a link to a sound effect button (right click on the link and open in a new window for maximum effectiveness.), and you can click it at the end of reading, to add to the impact of these one liners.

Dead body + magician + stuffed in a trunk = Someone really wanted to make sure our friend disappeared for his final act...

Dead body + CEO + Found in chair the next morning = Guess no one told that working overtime was hazardous to his health...

But what makes it so awesome is that using the Caine Corollary, you can create your own one liners for use in everyday situations. Just eliminate the "Dead Body" portion and substitute something else.

Mom and store clerk + Supermarket + Cleanup in the dairy isle = You know what they say... there's no use crying over spilled milk.

Man and woman + At the gym + Having an argument = Some couples... just don't work out.

Cheesy, but awesome. I challenge you to come up with one and sent it to me. Winner will be immortalized in the "Welcome to my Mind" Hall of Fame. And even if you don't send one in, just try it for fun. It's always interesting to see the reactions you get.