I've been sucking, pretty much at life. Well not at life, but everything in and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, so I feel it is safe to say that I am sucking at life.It's so bad, I don't even blog when inspiration strikes, I now blog whenever The Girlfriend tells me to. It's funny because she wants to hear what I have to say, but she never lets me talk. (yes, it's a little mean, but fairly accurate.)
But never mind that, I am here to talk about the future. I have taken a little while to think and decide how I'm going to live the rest of my life. And I am here to introduce to you to Bobcorp. Bobcorp is my new venture, and my company will focus mainly on providing a better standard of living for me.
So anyways I'm sitting in my CEO chair and in walks one of my employees, upset at their job title. Apparently this employee wants a larger stake in Bobcorp. They want more responsibility, more hours, and adjacent offices. I sat there while the PowerPoint slides flipped one after another. And during lunch, we discussed financials, as well as a possible merger down the road. It was a serious day in the short existence of Bobcorp.
If you haven't guessed by now, The Girlfriend has been talking about a promotion to The Fiancee. So if this goes the way she would like, there will eventually be an opening in Bobcorp for the position of Girlfriend. All willing applicants should send there resumes and head shots down to the Bobcorp headquarters.
I'm cheering for that cute little brunette who has been seen recently driving a ginormous truck. I think she has really good references and I believe has a soft place in her heart for nacho-cheese fountains...I would definitely promote (if I were you). I think the new opening could be filled by a dog if the promotion is done right. :P
ReplyDeleteI say promote the hottie girlfiend. You are a lucky man, Mr. CEO, she'd wear a nacho orange dress for you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, once the fiance (and then eventually wife) role has been filled the girlfriend position becomes obsolete ;)
I'm sorry you feel you're sucking at life. You should know I think you are doing great at being a good man (I wouldn't want the g.f. to promote you if I didn't).