Weighing the Pros and Cons

So I'm sitting here with the girlfriend, in her room, and on her laptop. She has teacher stuff thrown all around the room, so I am forced to sit on the floor. She starts in on how some kid in the class she is student teaching did the cutest thing. And I'm trying to be a good boyfriend, a listening boyfriend, but all I could think about is a Double-Double from In and Out.

Is that wrong of me? Because although I love my girlfriend, I also love the Double-Double. And then I got to thinking, which one do I love more? Now before all the ladies (Stephanie, I'm looking in your direction), get upset just hear me out. Yes I've been in a relationship with the girlfriend for five years, but I've been in a relationship with cheeseburgers for much longer.

Yeah, me and Double-Doubles don't have intellectually stimulating conversations, but we also don't have fights. The Girlfriend isn't high in calories or saturated fat, but she does have bad days. The Double-Double doesn't mind that I'm late for dinner, but The Girlfriend doesn't need someone else to get her ready for me. And in doing the math, I've discovered that I will have spent more money in my lifetime on the girlfriend than I ever have on cheeseburgers.

Yes there are differences, but there surprisingly are similarities. Both cost me money, and will probably contribute to my death in the future. Both can get along fine without me, but it always seems to be better when I'm around. They both satisfy needs. The Double-Double makes me not hungry, while The Girlfriend makes me happy.

So who wins? I'm gonna say The Girlfriend. Realistically, the levels of satisfaction doesn't match up. Yeah The Double-Double costs less, but the feeling I get is fleeting. I have a feeling that the satisfaction I get from The Girlfriend will never go away.